10 Things I Hate About My Student Loans

10 Things

I have been stressed out about my student loans since August 14, 2008. That was the moment that I signed my life away and entered into my first student loan with a bank that I will not name (who is also my arch nemesis). At the time I was 18 and I didn’t fully understand what I signed up for, but I had an uneasy feeling that I was in over my head.  That feeling intensified every time I signed another MPN.

I am now finished with my undergraduate career (We Are!…) and I have graduated from law school. Now the moment I’ve been dreading since 2008 is fast approaching. My student loans go into repayment this month and earlier today I realized that I still don’t quite know what I got myself into. So today, in an attempt to be the responsible adult I always imagined I would be at this age, I mustered up the courage to inquire about my loans. Here are 10 things I learned about my student loans that pissed me off:

  1. My balance is aggressive. It is…unsettling. It should get it’s own sexified Halloween costume on Yandy. Seriously guys, it’s enough to purchase a couple of small homes. It makes me want to cry. I honestly won’t be able to sleep tonight.
  2. My interest rate is appalling. When I was speaking to the student loan rep on the phone she saw my interest rate and was like “…yea… you got these at a bad time.” How unfortunate for me, right? BRUH.
  3. I have hella private student loans and SURPRISE private banks don’t have to provide income based repayment plans. Pay close attention y’all.
  4. These private student loans were taken out for my undergraduate degree. And with this bank that means that my repayment is automatically set at a 15 year repayment term. This means that I’m paying more a month to pay off my debt faster. Remember how they don’t do income based repayment? Yea, so I can’t lower my monthly payment because they don’t do income based repayment, but the monthly payment is high because it’s set at 15 years. And also I’m poor. Soooo…
  5. I can shorten my repayment term (thus making my monthly payments larger) but there is somehow no option to lengthen my repayment term (which would make my monthly payments smaller). Is this a trap?
  6. My interest rate is a variable interest rate. This means that it can fluctuate. It can get smaller or larger. Now ideally, I would like a fixed interest rate, which means that the rate doesn’t fluctuate it’s “fixed” at the amount you discussed. But when I was taking out the student loan I was desperate and just took the first bank that agreed to pay for my education.
  7. The grace period is only six months long. I’m kind of just stumbling through life right now and I kinda need a little more time. Extension please?
  8. I have private student loans, and federal student loans, and so now at this point I’m set to get like 5 different letters per month each requesting something like $600. DID I MENTION I’M POOR?
  9. The whole world apparently knows about my student loans and how massive they are. I think this because I keep getting letters about loan consolidation. This truly seems like the best option for me. I’ve joined a credit union which has very low fixed interest rates for student loan consolidation.
  10. I was allowed to enter into these absolutely absurd and confusing contracts before I was allowed to drink. Let me reiterate this fact. I was allowed to make financial decisions that affect the ENTIRE COURSE OF MY LIFE BEFORE I WAS ALLOWED TO CONSUME AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE. Let that sink in.

If any of you know of any really great student loan consolidators leave the name of the company below!


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